


I Can't

by SadieandJack



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27544492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack
Summary: Grissom is oblivious to Sara not seeing that she is troubled. A one night stand and a refusal push her over the edge...very nearly.
Relationships: Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle
Kudos: 2





	1. I Can't

Grissom stood in the hallway reading a file. That gave me a chance to slip past him. For three days we all worked on a bus crash. Sleeping and eating little I was very nearly on the point of collapse, but I kept telling myself to keep going. Now my biggest problem was not letting Grissom see me on my fourth shift.

I slowly walked not making a sound seeing him concentrate on the paper in front of him. I stopped as he started to put the paper back in the file. My breath caught in my throat knowing at any moment he could see me and start yelling. He looked at something else and I began again to walk by him. Someone walked by me leaving a door open and I banged into it hitting my knee. Grissom started to move to look and I grabbed the door shutting it kneeling down breathing fast feeling my knee ache. I waited for a few minutes then I looked up seeing he was gone. Opening the door I peeked out both ways then I came out shutting the door limping down the hall.

"Sara!"

I stopped as Grissom called out to me. Closing my eyes I felt dread coming up my spine. His shoes made sounds as he walked over to me. Holding the file still he walked around to face me.

"Hey." I said, in a weak voice.

"You know what I am going to say."

"Um…yes." I said

"I need you to go check the tire again. I read the report and I don't think you did enough with the tire. I want the tread looked at and then another report done." He said, handing me the file.

I took it confused. He walked away oblivious to how terrible I looked.

Later he came back to the lab room I was in looking through blurry eyes at the tire. He shut the door walking over to me.

"Sara, have you gone home yet?"

"No." I said, winching as I said that.

"I am about to get very angry if you tell me you are on your fourth shift." He said, sternly.

"Then I won't say anything." I said

He did not say a thing for a moment. I avoided his stare knowing that he was about to erupt.

"Drop everything you have right now and leave the building. I will deal with you later." He said, calmly. I could tell he was mentally counting. He marched out the door shutting the door loudly.

I went home falling onto the couch. My coma like state did not let up until the next day. I ate an apple feeling my stomach settle. I came into work feeling the need to face Grissom head on. He sat in his office working as I came in shutting the door. He glanced up at me before going back to work.

"Sara, I am busy here." He said

"Sorry." I said, making my way to the door. He watched me leave then he shook his head going back to work.

Grissom came into the lounge seeing me eating an egg sandwich on the couch as I read through a science magazine. He poured some coffee and walked over sitting in front of me on the coffee table watching me. I looked at him eating a piece of sandwich.

He set down his mug on the table then he sighed looking back at me. I chewed waiting for him to talk.

"Did you want something?" I asked

"Did you get some sleep?"

"Yes and I am eating." I said, showing him my sandwich.

"Come by later and we will talk." He said, standing.

"I tried that earlier." I said

He looked at me before leaving. After shift I walked over to his door seeing it was locked. Sighing, I walked out to the parking lot seeing him walking to his car.

"Grissom!" I shouted

He stopped turning looking at me as I ran over.

"What do you need?" He asked "I was just about to go home."

"You said we were going to talk." I said, irritated.

"I meant come see me during working hours."

"I was working."

"Well you will have to see me tomorrow then." He said, going.

"You could make time for me now if you wanted to." I said

He stopped again turning to see me.

"Actually I couldn't. I am meeting someone for breakfast."

"Let me guess, Sophia." I said, wishing I hadn't said that out loud.

"Whatever I do outside of work is none of your business." He said, walking over to me.

"You think it's a secret?"

"You just got yourself a suspension for two days." He said

"Fine!" I said, leaving.

He watched me walk off flexing his jaw.

I slammed my door of my apartment and went into the kitchen grabbing a beer from the fridge opening it I took a long sip of it then I stared at it. I felt the rage explode in me and I tossed the bottle into the wall across from the kitchen seeing the glass shatter and beer streaking down to the floor. I opened up a cabinet and took out a large bottle of vodka.

Grissom ate some egg at the dinner table looking at the people eating around them. Sophia sipped some coffee looking at him. He looked out the window thinking. Sophia put down her cup looking at him.

"Gil?"

He blinked looking at her.

"You seem preoccupied."

"Sorry, I had a fight with Sara before I left work."

"Oh is that all?" She said, shaking her head, as she looked down at the half eaten omelet on her plate.

"She was out of line." He said, buttering some toast.

"What did you do?"

"Suspension."

"Good, it'll give her a chance to cool down."

"I wasn't very nice to her."

"She can't expect you to be at her beck and call. You have a life to."

He nodded eating some toast.

The next day he walked up the stairs to my place. I was hung over and sick. The doorbell went off as I spilled aspirin all over the living room floor. I threw down the bottle walking over the pills hearing them crunch under my shoes. I opened the door seeing him standing in his work clothes.

I eyed him leaning my head against the door wishing I had not spilled the pills.

"What do you want?" I asked

"To talk." He said

"What if I am not in the mood?"

"Then I will leave, but I think we should." He said, noting how pale I was.

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Sara, please?"

His pleading eyes caused me to give in. I slowly opened my door for him. He came in watching me walk to the spilled pills on the floor. I knelt down getting the bottle putting the pills inside. He closed the door walking over.

"What happened?" He asked

"I dropped them." I said

He knelt down helping then I stood going to the kitchen getting a glass of water. He walked over standing by the counter.

"Well?" I said

"I want you to talk to me." He said

I took one of the pills drinking water.

"Why should I talk since you never have time for me?"

"I have time now." He said

"All right," I said, putting my glass down to look at him. "Why are you being mean to me?"

"I didn't think I was."

"You don't even know I am alive half the time."

"I know your alive." He said

His cell phone started going off and I sighed walking past him. He reached out his hand grabbing my arm pulling me back.

"Grissom," He said, looking at me. "I'm busy right now. I will call you back….okay."

He hung up looking at me. I looked down waiting.

"Sara, I have a lab to run. You are not the only person that needs my attention. I do see you all the time even though you may not think I do."

"I can't work with you anymore. I want to move to dayshift." I said, walking past him to the living room.

He walked over looking hurt.

"Are you doing that because I won't flirt with you?"

I felt my eyes tear as I looked at him.

"I am doing it because I don't even think you care! I am doing it because I feel taken advantage of! Now get out!" I said, running to my bedroom crying.

Grissom looked at the closed door. I slid down to the floor hearing the front door close. He signed my paper to move to dayshift.

A month later he climbed out of his car locking it before walking to the lab. He looked over seeing me trying to unlock my car. Stopping he noticed how skinny I looked and I was paler than usual. I dropped my keys and cursed to myself trying to find them. When I got them I stood up seeing Grissom looking at me.

"Hey." He said

"Hey." I said, flatly.

He walked over stopping looking me over.

"Is dayshift going well?"

"Yeah." I said, looking at the keys in my hand.

"You going home?" He asked, wanting me to look at him.

"I am going out."

"Where?" He asked

I looked at him sighing.

"To a bar up the street."

"Oh." He said

"Well goodnight." I said

"Goodnight." He said, walking back to the curb looking back at me. I opened my door getting in watching him go inside the building.

Later Grissom walked into the bar up the street looking around the room. He saw me with a drink in my hand talking to some guy in the corner. I laughed watching the guy look over past me at something. I turned seeing Grissom then I looked back at the guy rolling my eyes.

"Boyfriend?" He asked

"No, boss." I said, taking a drink. I turned again seeing Grissom walking over to us. "What now?"

"Who is your friend?" Grissom asked

"Carl Rouge." He said, shaking Grissom's hand.

"What are you doing here?" I asked

"Looking for you." He said, taking the glass from my hand smelling it. "I am taking you home."

"I drove." I said

"You are to drunk to drive." He said "Come on."

I could see he was not going to budge. I walked out angry at Grissom. He took my arm going to my car. I got in looking over at him as he got in starting the engine.

"I think what you did in there was rude!"

"You were to intoxicated to drive." He said

"Ever hear of a taxi?"

He said nothing as he stopped at a light.

"So what, your stalking me now?"

"No, I am not stalking you. I felt that someone had to step in."

I sighed shaking my head.

"Do you have any food at your place?" He asked

"Why?"

"Do you?" He asked, looking over at me.

"No."

"Then you are going to my place."

I sat up glaring at him.

"Take me home!"

"No, Sara."

He turned down a road and I just looked out the window not saying a thing. He parked outside his house looking over at me.

"Get out of the car."

"No."

"Sara, get out of the car now."

I looked over at him then I opened the door getting out. He led the way up the stairs opening the door letting me in. I stood around watching him walk past going into the kitchen. He began to cook something and I walked around his living room looking at his pictures and books. He came out wiping his hands off with a dish towel.

I touched a book on his desk as he walked over.

"Coffee is ready."

I didn't say a thing.

"Are you hungry?"

I shook my head.

"Well when it's ready you should be."

Feeling tears going down my cheeks I kept my head down. He stepped closer moving my hair seeing tears.

"Sara."

I sniffed moving to his chest. He put his arms around me as I cried. My hands went to his shirt as I clutched him.

Grissom stood watching me sleep on his couch with a blanket over my body. He felt very concerned that I had been drinking and not eating and now sleeping was on the list. His phone went off making him move away so as not to wake me. I slowly moved to my side.

Grissom walked over sitting on the coffee table touching my head. I moved opening my eyes seeing him.

"Hey, I have to go in."

I sat up slowly touching my messy hair. Grissom watched me get my bearings.

"I didn't mean to stay here all night." I said

"It's okay. You were really tired."

I yawned pushing the blanket off as I stood up. Grissom stood looking at me.

"I called you in sick."

"Why?" I asked

"You need rest and food."

"I'm fine."

"Obviously you have not looked in the mirror." He said "I want you to stay here until I get back. There is leftover dinner for you warming in the oven."

"I can't stay here." I said

"Sara, I want to leave knowing that you're here and safe."

Slowly I nodded. He walked to the door turning to look back at me.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked

"You are crying out for help and I am the only one to see that."

He left and I felt alone again. I spent the time eating and sleeping. When he came home I was getting up again seeing him. He walked over as I stood up from the couch.

"I am glad your getting rest."

"I wasn't going to, but I was tired." I said, stretching.

"Hungry?"

"No, I ate before you came."

"Okay, want to watch a movie?"

"Sure." I said, sitting back down watching him get the remote. We sat apart watching a movie about space. I looked over at Grissom as he watched the TV. I marveled at his hair then I moved to his lips wishing he would kiss me. He lifted his hand up to his chin rubbing it looking over at me seeing that I was staring at him.

"Something wrong?" He asked

"I…" I said, stopping as I couldn't think of any reason why I would be staring.

His brow furrowed as he watched me trying to read my mind.

"I..was…thinking." I said

"About what?"

Swallowing I tried to think of something.

"I was thinking about….that I should wash my hair."

"Wash your hair?"

"Yes, it's been awhile." I said

He looked at my hair then back at the TV. Taking a breath I looked back at the TV.

Later he led me to the spare room on the second floor. I looked at the bed as he moved around.

"There are towels in the bathroom and I have shampoo in there for your hair." He said, smiling a little.

"Thank's." I said

"Well goodnight." He said, going to the door leaving.

I sat on the bed looking around the room. Moving in bed I sighed not being able to sleep. Getting up I went out to the bathroom next door hearing the TV on downstairs. Coming down I saw Grissom sitting up with his head back dozing as the TV lit the room.

He didn't move as I walked over looking at him. I leaned down taking the remote from his hand, but he moved opening his eyes seeing me. His hand went to mine holding the remote taking it from me. He placed it aside pulling me down on top of him. I gasped as he pulled me in for a kiss. I moved back looking at him feeling his hand go through my damp hair.

He stared at me and I moved to him kissing him back. Everything that I had been holding came out in that kiss. It grew intense as I put my hands on his neck and hair. His hands moved down my back to my legs holding me to him. Our breath became labored as he pushed me back into the couch. He made me feel alive for the first time. When his hand went up my shirt I lost it.

Grissom moved hearing his phone on the coffee table. He jumped a little noticing me laying on him. Remembering last night he put his hand to his head looking up at the ceiling. I moved hearing the ring of the phone. Below me was warm skin with a racing heart. I lifted my head seeing Grissom looking at me.

"Hey." I said

"Hey, ah….I have to get that." He said, trying to reach the phone. I moved so he could watching him sit up answering it.

Standing I stretched feeling so relaxed. Grissom hung up looking at me.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, happier.

"Ah….sure." He said

"I can make pancakes." I said, walking into the kitchen. Grissom stood rubbing his head walking over to the kitchen. He watched look around for things then turn smiling at him as I set everything I needed on the counter. "My mother made these for us every Saturday."

"Sara?"

"Do you want waffles instead?" I asked

"No….maybe….I don't know." He said

"What's wrong?" I asked, looking at him with concern.

"What happened last night….should not have happened."

I dropped the butter into the bowl looking down.

"It is not your fault. I got carried away and…it just went overboard."

I stood there a second before quickly going out of the kitchen up the stairs to the spare room. Grissom ran up seeing me getting my things.

"Sara, will you listen to me?"

"Why? I think saying it was a mistake say's it all." I said, getting my shoes on as I ran out holding my clothes. He ran down the stairs following me to the door.

"Sara!"

I stopped looking at him.

"Leave me alone!" I said, my voice cracking. I grabbed my keys from the table next to the door running out leaving him. I got into my car crying. How could I have been so stupid?

Grissom walked into the lab two weeks later seeing the new day shift supervisor Harry Ogan walking over to him.

"Hello Gil."

"Hello, how is day shift?" Grissom asked, opening his office door.

"That is what I want to talk to you about."

"Have a seat." Grissom said, as he put his brief case on the desk then he leaned against it facing Harry.

"What is the problem?" He asked

"The problem is Sara Sidle."

Grissom froze looking at him.

"Gil, she has been calling off saying she has a bad cold. When she does come in she looks almost gray. I asked her if she was all right and she says I am fine."

"That is her favorite line. I have talked to her about it before."

"She is headed for a breakdown. I think she would listen to you."

Grissom sighed looking down at his shoes.

He walked down the hallway seeing me standing looking in at the lab technicians. He stopped looking at me seeing I was indeed off color and sick looking.

"Sara?" He called, walking over slowly. "Sara!"

I jumped looking over at him. His heart stopped as he saw that my eyes were very swollen from crying. I looked down then back at the window.

"Are you going home?" He asked

When I didn't answer he laid a hand on my arm. I wrenched it away looking at with fire in my eyes.

"Don't you touch me!" I shouted

Grissom looked around seeing some people looking at us.

"Sara, why don't we go to my office?"

"Stay away from me!" I shouted, before running down the hallway. He sighed walking down the way I ran. I sat in one of the shower stalls in the locker room shaking with new tears. He came in walking down the stalls till he saw me. He knelt down watching me move to the back away from him holding my face with my knees up.

"Your all right…I am not going to hurt you." He said, calmly.

I peeked out with one eye at him.

"Why don't you talk to me?"

I cried into my hands. Grissom just watched me not knowing what to do. He finally came in closer trying to help me. He reached over touching my hand. I lifted my head looking at him with swollen red eyes.

"Sara, I want to help you." He said, as he clasped my hand. "Please?"

I felt him help me up and then take me to his office. I sat down on his couch looking down as he came back in giving me a mug.

"No." I said

He sat down setting the mugs aside. He looked at me crossing his arms over his chest. I looked down at my hands. The silence was unsettling for me.

"Sara, I am concerned about you."

I made a sarcastic sound.

"You think I am lying?" He asked

I looked at him.

"I think you don't care about anything or anyone."

"That is harsh. I do care about my staff and you."

"I don't want to talk anymore." I said, looking down.

He watched me in silence again.

"When was the last time you ate?"

I didn't say a thing.

"Or slept?" He asked "How much are you drinking?"

I stood going to the door.

"You can only run so far until you collapse." He said

He sighed as I opened the door running out. The next day I called in sick. I looked at a pile of pills in my hand as I sat on the toilet. Coming out of the bathroom I put the pile of pills on the kitchen counter looking at them. A glass of water was put beside them.

You can do this…..The voice inside kept saying. A knock on the door made me jump. I walked over opening it seeing Grissom.

"Can I come in?" He asked

"Why?" I asked, flatly.

"Just a social call."

"I am busy."

"With what?"

"I….I am cleaning my house." I said

"I'll only be a minute."

I relented opening the door remembering the pills on the counter. He came in noticing I was fidgety looking over at the counter then at him.

"This is not a good time." I said

Grissom followed my gaze over to the counter seeing what I was nervous about. His eyes got wide as he walked over seeing the pile of pills and the glass of water. He looked back at me then at the pills.

"Can you go now?" I asked, opening the door.

He said nothing as he continued to stare at the pills.

"Please?" I asked

I looked down as he walked over taking the door knob from my hands and shutting the door looking at me.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his tone level.

"I said I am cleaning my house." I said

"Look at me." He said

I slowly lifted my head looking at him.

"What are those pills?"

"You can go now."

"I am not going anywhere." He said

I walked over to the counter turning as I hid the pills from view.

"Sara, this is scary." He said, walking over. "I'm going to call 911."

He got his phone out of his pocket and I slapped it out of his hand hearing it clatter onto the floor.

"I don't need anyone to help me because I don't need help!" I shouted

"Look at those pills and tell me you don't need help! You think I would just leave and let you do that?"

I looked at him as he put his hands on my arms looking worried.

"Sara, I know you are troubled, but this is not the answer. Honey, please think about that."

"You called me honey." I said, quietly.

He watched me wipe away tears forming. His hand went to my cheek.

"If you talk to me I promise I will not call 911."

I sniffed stepping closer to him putting my head against his shoulder feeling his arms around me. He led me to the couch sitting down as he held me against him.

"Did it really mean nothing to you when we….?" I asked

"I never said it meant nothing. I just didn't know what to do about it." He said

"Every day I look around and I see blank faces." I said "I feel nothing."

His head leaned against mine as he listened.

"I am sorry about what I said that day. I just felt as if I had done something wrong and I was confused." He said

I closed my eyes listening to his heart. He kissed my head putting his fingers through my hair. Sometime later I woke alone on the couch. Sitting up I looked around seeing him standing by the kitchen counter looking down at his phone. I stood making him look over at me.

"I fixed you something." He said

"I don't think I can eat." I said, walking over seeing that the pills and water had disappeared.

"I will not leave until I see you eat." He said

I sighed sitting on a stool. He put a sandwich in front of me. Picking at it looking inside seeing it was an egg sandwich. He watched me take a bite then look at the spot the pills were.

"I threw away the pills." He said "I will tell Harry that you will come back in two days. By then I expect you to have eaten and slept."

He walked past me to the door.

"Oh and Sara, I threw away all the beer and liquor in your cabinet."

I looked at him then the cabinets hearing the door shut.

Grissom went to work sitting at his desk thinking. He had made a mess of everything and now he needed to make it right.

I came back two days later walking to the locker room. Grissom came out of his office.

"Sara?"

I turned seeing him.

"Can you come here a moment?"

I slowly walked over noting how tired he looked.

"What are you doing here?" I asked

"Waiting for you."

He closed his door facing me.

"What's up?" I asked

He stepped closer lifting his hand slowly to my neck and cheek. I stared at him with wide eyes watching him come closer putting his lips on mine. My heart raced as he tilted his head deepening the kiss. I moved back looking at him.

"Grissom?"

"I have been thinking about you. I hurt you and that is not something I want to do anymore. I love you."

"What?" I said, stepping back.

"I love you."

"But….!" I said "You…can't"

"Why not?" He asked, coming closer to me.

"I am not any good that is why."

"You are good to me. I have been running from you because I knew you were the one, and I didn't want to face that." He said "Sara, I am ready to face that now."

I had to sit down. He watched me sit back in a chair and look at him in shock.

"This to much for me to take in." I said

He watched me stand and back away going to the door.

"There has been so many times I wanted you to say that, Gil Grissom, but I…can't."

He watched me leave quickly not looking back.


	2. Intersection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara and Grissom have survived her refusal. She tries to get on with her life feeling guilt over what she did, but Grissom draws her back to him.

Weeks later I began to settle into day shift trying to forget the man that had affected me so deeply. My cases were grueling making it difficult to rest.

Grissom came to work seeing me coming out to my car. He slowly walked over seeing that I glanced at him.

"Hey." He said

"Hey."

I heard the sadness in his voice. His eyes spoke volumes of the pain I had inflicted on him.

"I should go." I said

"Sara?" He said, walking over to me.

"What?" I asked, looking down

"Be careful going home."

He reached his hand out, but dropped it.

"I have to go."

He nodded watching me get into my car and start the engine. As I parked outside of my place I looked at the stairs leading up to my apartment. I felt sad and guilt for refusing him.

The next evening Grissom had off. He walked up the stairs to his house looking over seeing me leaning next to the door.

"Sara?"

"Hey cutie." I said, stepping closer to him.

"Are you drunk?" He asked, asking the obvious since I smelled of liquor.

"Kiss me." I said, trying to kiss him.

"Sara, you need to have some coffee." He said, moving away from me.

"I don't want any coffee, Mr. Grissom. I need some lovin."

He got his keys in the door trying not to react to my kissing his neck. He pulled the door open going in yanking my arm inside. I closed the door leaning against it as I looked at him with hunger. He set his keys down on the dining room table looking over at me.

"I'll make some coffee." He said

"I told you what I want." I said, walking over to him. My hands went to his shirt tearing it open. The buttons went clattering around the room. Grissom tried to stop me, but the damage was done.

"Sara!"

"Smooth skin." I said, commenting on his bare chest. I let my fingers run over his flesh licking my lips.

"Stop!" He shouted, grabbing my hands. "I am making you coffee then driving you home."

He walked over to the kitchen and then he went up to his bedroom finding another shirt. I walked around then sat on his couch. Grissom came out in a black tee shirt coming down seeing that I was half lying on the couch. He walked over sighing looking at me.

I woke feeling like death. My hair was in my mouth and I had a migraine. Opening my eyes I saw a glass on the coffee table with some orange liquid inside. Lifting my head was a big mistake so I just reached over dragging the glass off the table to my mouth. It was bitter and disgusting.

"Mmm!" I moaned, putting it back onto the coffee table trying to sit up. A blanket had been put over me and my shoes were gone. I realized that I was not even home. As I looked around a door opened and I heard someone coming down some stairs. Grissom walked over seeing that I was looking at him confused. He had to admit I looked cute with my hair messed.

"I am at your house?" I asked

"Yes. How do you feel?" He asked, walking over sitting on the coffee table.

"Horrible, what is that?" I asked, pointing to the glass with orange coloring in it.

"That is a hangover cure."

He lifted it up handing it to me. I slowly took it lifting the glass to my dry lips winching as the liquid coated my mouth.

"It's awful!" I said

"Drink it." He said

I tried again deciding on drinking it quickly. As I finished I almost gagged holding my mouth with my hand. He set the glass down watching me.

"What is in that?"

"Just some secret ingredients and tomato juice."

I tried not to gag again, but I did burp. Grissom smiled watching me lie back down.

"It will take effect soon."

"How did I get here?" I asked, looking over at him.

"I don't know, I just found you at the doorstep."

I tried to think, but my head was hurting to much.

"You seemed to be very into me."

I looked at him horrified as I sat up slowly.

"We didn't…..I….!"

"No, you were passed out on the couch."

I sighed holding my head. He moved to the couch beside me and gently moved his hands on my scalp massaging my head. I dropped my hand closing my eyes enjoying his gentle fingers.

My body moved back against him as he sat back against the cushions. I dozed off faintly feeling his lips against my head.

"I love you." He whispered, not knowing if I heard him or not.

Grissom woke up alone. He sat up looking around not seeing me. I laid in bed after calling in sick thinking about Grissom. He came into the lab early the next day so he could find me. I was in the locker room fresh from a shower. Grissom came in seeing I was tying my shoes on the bench. I looked up at him seeing him walk over.

"You left?" He asked

"Um…yeah I had to do something's." I said, standing up.

"I would have liked to have driven you home." He said

"That's okay." I said

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah." I said "Your hangover cure helped."

"Good." He said, staring at me. I looked into his eyes quickly looking away.

"Well I should go."

As I walked by he stopped me with his hand on my arm. I swallowed watching him move closer. I hit the lockers as he quietly moved over to me. His hands went down my body to my waist then up to my hands pulling them up to stay beside my head. He gripped them as his head moved closer to mine. His lips touched mine making me moan. I felt his hands leave mine going down my waist reaching behind me pushing them up my back. We moved back hearing voices outside. Grissom took my hand leading me to the showers. We got into a stall and he shut the door pulling me to him. The kisses became very passionate fast. He was lost in my body breathing quickly as I clung to the wall weakly grasping the tile for support. We both slid to the floor. I tried to remember to breathe as his lips drove me crazy. I could feel his fingers working on the button of my pants then the incredible sensation of him.

After a few minutes he calmed down lying on top of me. I laid back touching his back and letting my other hand go through his hair. He lifted his head looking at me.

"Are you all right?" I asked, quietly.

"Yes." He said, sighing as he closed his eyes.

"I thought you were going to have a heart attack."

He opened his eyes smiling.

"It felt that way to me to."

I smiled watching him lean down kissing me. His phone went off and he sat up grabbing it.

"Grissom."

He listened to the person on the other line as he zipped up his pants.

"I'm here we can meet in five minutes in my office."

I watched him hang up and look at me.

"You have to go." I said

"Yes, look I would like to talk to you later."

"Okay."

He nodded helping me up. I did up my pants watching him leave. As I left I knew I had just opened the door again.

Grissom sat at his desk later thinking about the time in the shower stall remembering every sound and every movement. He knew we were headed down a road and at the end was an intersection.

I let him in later after he was done with his shift. I had off and had been waiting for him.

"I made something." I said, as I closed the door.

"Sara, we can get to that later right now I think we should talk." He said

"Okay."

We walked to my living room sitting on the couch.

"I think you know what I am going to talk about." He said, taking my hand in his.

"I know." I said, looking down.

"What are you thinking?"

"I don't know."

He made me look at him as his hand went to my cheek. I searched his eyes moving my head over catching his lips. He hungrily kissed me leaning back onto the couch. I moved with him lying on top. He moved back looking at me.

"Does this mean you're not afraid anymore?"

"It means that I realized I need you."

He pulled me back to his lips. Later we laid facing each other on the couch. I smiled faintly as he kissed my head touching my face.

"Sara….Sara." He said, whispering.

"You have to go soon."

"We have time." He said, before kissing me on the mouth. "I think we should get married."

I looked at him touching his clean shaven cheek.

"Is that a proposal?"

"Interested?"

"Yes."

"Will you be my wife?"

"If I have to." I said, smiling.

He smiled moving his arm up so he could see the time on his wrist watch.

"Time to move."

"So soon?"

"Yes, although I wish I could stay with you."

"I will miss you." I said

He kissed me again deepening the kiss. I moved feeling him move on top of me again. His head buried itself into my neck and I gasped. His cell alarm went off telling him it was time to make a move. Sighing he laid in place a moment then he got up. I laid still looking up at him.

He left and I took a nap. When I came back to work going to my locker I found a small black box with a ribbon around it. Opening it I found a diamond engagement ring. I slipped it on feeling my heart explode.

He came in at his usual time opening his door he heard someone running down the hall. Turning to late he was pounced by me.

"Sara!" He exclaimed, as I pushed him inside kissing his face all over. "Honey, I can't breathe!"

"Thank you it is beautiful!" I said, letting him go smiling.

He smiled lifting my hand seeing it on my finger.

"You like it?"

"Yes, I love it."

"Good, it belonged to my mother. I just had it made to fit yours." He said, kissing my hand.

"I have to go." I said, running out making him chuckle. He shook his head looking at the pile of paper on his desk. I ran back in poking him. He turned around receiving a kiss from me then I ran out again.

A week later I ran into the hospital after hearing about an accident involving Grissom. The front desk would not give me any information nor would they allow me to see him. I paced the waiting room seeing Brass come in. I stopped seeing blood on his coat and shirt.

"Is that?"

He looked down at himself then he nodded to me.

"What happened?" I asked

"A man with a gun was on top of a building where the scene was on the strip. He fired shots directly at the people below including Grissom." He said "Look, he told me about the two of you. I can tell you it was not good. He had a bullet to the side and he was bleeding badly."

"They won't tell me a thing." I said

"Is there a Captain Brass here?" A Doctor called

"Wait here." He said, before walking over to talk to the Doctor.

I watched rubbing my hands together. Brass put his head down nodding as the Doctor talked quietly. I watched Brass turn looking at me then he looked back at the Doctor. The man left then Brass came over to me.

"Is he all right?" I asked, worried.

"Sit down Sara." He said

"No just tell me!"

"The doctor said….they got the bullet out, but…."

"What?"

"Grissom is sinking fast. He said with all the blood he lost they don't think he will make it."

I stared at him feeling my heart beat thumping into my ear.

"Sara, do you understand me?"

"He won't die." I said "He won't, he knows I am here. He has to marry me."

Brass pulled me to him.

"Excuse me?" A woman nurse interrupted. "Are you Mr. Grissom's fiancé?"

I let go of Brass nodding.

"I can take you to him."

Brass pushed me forwards and I walked with the woman down a hallway to a room. She opened the door for me and closed it as I came in. Grissom lay in the middle of the room. His mouth was covered with a ventilator. I noted how deathly white he was.

"Gris, it's me." I said, touching his hair. "I came as quickly as I could. You have to wake up."

A tear came down my cheek landing on his hand.

"You can't leave just yet after you proposed. We have to get married."

I watched for any sign he would hear me, but there was nothing. Lifting his hand I kissed it smoothing his fingers over my cheek. Brass came in slowly seeing that I was trying to wake him up.

"You can wake up." I said "Please open your eyes."

"Sara?" He called

"Yeah?" I said, wiping my eyes.

"We have to leave."

"I just got here."

"They said to leave."

I looked back at Grissom letting his hand go. Brass put his arm around me as he led me outside. Sleep did not come to me as I cried until it hurt. I made me way to the hospital again going down the hallway to his room. I entered seeing a nurse checking his vitals.

"Are you his fiancé?" She asked

"Yes, how is he?"

"He is holding his own." She said, before leaving. I walked over touching his hand sitting in a chair. The Doctor made his way in nodding at me as he walked over to Grissom's other side checking his eyes and other things.

"He is not worse, that is a good sign. Time will tell. He must be fighting for someone." He said, looking at me.

"I hope so." I said

He nodded looking at Grissom again.

I sat for hours reading a science journal out loud hearing his heart monitor spike then that familiar flat line sound. I sprang from my chair running out seeing nurses and the doctor rush in to work on him. I shook out in the hallway peeking in seeing them trying to resuscitate him. Minutes later the door opened and the nurses came out.

"Is he all right?" I asked

"If you could wait in the waiting room." One nurse said

"No, I want to know now!" I shouted

"You have to wait for the doctor."

I sat alone in the waiting room scared. Catherine ran in seeing me.

"Sara, have they said anything?" She asked, sitting down beside me.

"No."

She put an arm around me taking my hand.

"Grissom is going to be okay."

"Yeah." I said

Brass came in to sit next to us.

The door opened and the doctor came in. We all stood up looking at him.

"Well?" Brass said

"He is back with us, but we can't say how long." He said

"Can I see him?" I asked

"Not at the moment. We need to operate again. It appears there is an infection and we need to open him up and find it."

"This is a hospital?" Catherine asked

"Even in the most sanitary places this kind of thing can happen. Go home and rest if anything happens I have Captain Brass's number."

"I'm not leaving." I said

"Sara." Brass said

"No!"

I left them to sit down. Brass talked to Catherine and then he came and sat with me. We sat for hours. I could hear the deep breathing of my companion as I sat back thinking. Brass moved waking looking around he noticed me deep in thought.

"Something else is bothering you." He said

"Yes." I said, sighing "Grissom doesn't know it yet, but he is going to be a father."

"Sara, when did you find out?"

"A few days ago."

He took my hand.

"If that won't wake him up then I don't know what will."

"You think he will be pleased?"

"I think he will be excited."

I smiled faintly squeezing his hand. The doctor came in wearing surgery scrubs looking tired. I stood up staring at him.

"We managed to get rid of the infection and now he is recovery. I can take you in."

"Go." Brass said "I'll call Catherine."

I made me way to recovery going in seeing other people lying on beds. Grissom was on the last bed looking not as pale as before. I kissed his head rubbing his hand.

Hours later Grissom slowly opened his eyes seeing white. He swallowed slowly feeling a sore throat. I moved standing by the bed looking at his eyes focus on me.

"Hey."

"Sara." He tried to say

"It's me."

I raised his hand to my lips.

"You're going to be all right."

I smoothed his hair as he closed his eyes sleeping again. His recovery was slow and exhausting. I made up the time I lost with work. Grissom could tell I was hiding something. He came home and I made him rest on his couch as I made his favorite meals. One night I laid against him watching a movie as he sat up watching.

"So when would you like to get married?" He asked

"I don't know. I hadn't thought about it."

"Well you should since I am better."

"I will." I said

He smoothed my hair looking at me.

"Do you want to tell me what is on your mind?"

I moved sitting up looking at him.

"Gris, there is something we should discuss….I…I am pregnant."

He just stared at me in silence. I reached over touching his hand.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know…I think I am in shock."

"You didn't want to be a father?"

"No, it's not that. I just need to let it sink in." He said

I went to move, but he pulled me back making me fall on him.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked

"No." He said, pulling me closer kissing my lips. I moved back letting his hands touch my cheeks. "Sara, I love you and I will love this child because it is part of you."

Tears came down my cheeks as he wiped them away.

"I am glad you are all right with that."

I laid my head against his chest. We married a month later in a quiet ceremony with Brass and Catherine. After eating together in a restaurant then Grissom took me to a hotel on the strip. Grissom stood behind me in a white robe as I looked out at the lit up hotels. His hand slid down to my belly. I placed my hand where his was as I smiled. He put his head on my shoulder looking out the window.

I had doubts about my ability to be a mother, but having Grissom to share my doubts helped. On my fifth month I was driving with Harry Ogen to a scene on the strip. He chatted the entire ride there and I stared out the window. The police lights on the cars gave away the location outside a casino. Brass stood by some cars walking over to us.

"Body is just inside the entrance. He was shot five times."

"One does it." I said, walking along with Harry.

"Where is the suspect?" Harry asked

"He ran away." Brass said

He stayed behind as we walked to the building.

Suddenly gunshots rang out hitting the cars around us. Harry yelled dropping his case as he grabbed me pulling me down hard onto the ground. Brass shouted and there were a lot of bullets flying on both sides. The man shooting collapsed on the street as people screamed. Harry moved seeing Brass running over to us.

"Are you two all right?" He asked

"Yes!" Harry said, as he got up looking over at the prone man on the ground. The police surrounded him guns drawn. Harry helped me sit up noticing I was pale and winching.

"Sara, are you okay?"

"My stomach hurts!" I cried, gripping his hand. He got his phone out calling 911. Grissom ran into the hospital in search of someone to help him. The doctor came out seeing him waiting by the front desk.

"Mr. Grissom, I am Doctor Baily." The woman said, shaking his hand.

"Is my wife all right?"

"Come with me and see." She said, leading him to some doors. "She came in with pain and we thought she would have a miscarriage, but we were able to get her help in time. As long as she rests and does not do anything strenuous I think she and the baby will be all right."

"Can she work?"

"I don't want her to work for now." She said, opening the door to the room I was in.

Grissom came in with her looking at me in bed. I looked at the monitor that beeped with the babies and my heartbeat. Grissom took my hand looking over at the monitor.

"Sara, I told your husband that you are to rest and not work. I expect you to listen." She said

Grissom looked at the doctor thinking she must know me well enough to know that I was stubborn.

"Don't worry I will make sure she takes a rest." Grissom said

I turned my head glaring at him. She nodded leaving looking at me with a warning glance. I sighed looking at Grissom watching as he put his hand on my stomach.

"I can't not work." I said

"You will rest. I will not have you putting any more stress on yourself. Remember this baby is half mine and I want my half to be healthy."

"All you care about is the baby." I said, looking up at the ceiling.

He leaned over kissing me slowly. I opened my eyes looking into his.

"I love you, Sara. Never doubt that I love you."

My first week at home I cried out for something to do that was constructive. I spent half the time watching TV stretched out on the couch. Grissom came home seeing that I had done laundry folded on the table. He heard the TV on and walked over seeing that I was sleeping on the couch. Smiling he walked over watching me move seeing him.

"I am glad you are resting."

I stretched sitting up then I tried to get up. He chuckled helping me up then he kissed me.

"I am so bored." I said

"You have only been off a few days."

"How am I supposed to have off the rest of the time?"

"Let's see what happens and if you feel better you can come back, but only on lab duty."

I was able to come back after two weeks. Grissom had Harry put me on light duty but I did not complain. One day I had a doctor's appointment which Grissom could not attend due to a meeting. He came back to his office seeing me sitting his chair.

"Why aren't you home?" He asked, setting his paper's down on his desk.

"I had a doctor's appointment."

"Is the baby all right?" He asked

"Yes." I said, smiling.

He looked at me oddly then he leaned on the desk.

"What are you smiling about?"

"I found out what we are having."

He raised an eyebrow. I raised my hand letting him help me up.

"From the look on your face I would say we are having something that you wanted."

I kissed him then I hugged him.

"Do you want to know?" I asked

"Yes."

I lifted my face looking at him.

"We are having a boy."

He smiled faintly moving me away from him so he could touch my stomach.

"Are you happy?" I asked

He nodded looking at my stomach.

"Now we can name him Louie" He said

I grimaced moving away.

"Louie?"

"Yes, after a scientist I like."

"Louie Grissom? That is not a good name." I said, walking out.

He shook his head looking back at the papers he had. Warrick carried in a box of pizza in the lounge just as I was looking for something to eat. He set it down on the table opening it up. Nick and Greg came in sitting down next to him slobbering over the food. As they talked about sports I walked over looking at the pizza seeing it was covered in meat and vegetables. Nick saw me hovering as he ate a piece.

"Sara, aren't you supposed to have gone home?"

"I was, but I was hungry." I said

"Hey Sara, want some?"

"She's vegetarian." Greg said

"We could scrap the meat off." Warrick said

I grabbed a piece eating it seeing all three men looking at me.

"The baby want's meat."

They all laughed watching me walk out. Grissom sat in bed reading a book. I came in rubbing my stomach getting in bed.

"You okay?" He asked, looking over at me.

"I just ate to much." I said

"This over eating is not healthy."

"I can't help it when I am hungry." I said, sighing lying back on the pillows. He flipped a page looking at his book. I sat up sighing looking at him.

"I want some ice cream."

"Sara, you just said you ate to much."

"I am hungry."

"No, you have had enough." He said

"I'll get it." I said, getting out slowly.

"Sara, get back in this bed." He said, sternly. "This is not good for the baby."

I frowned coming back to bed. I laid on my side away from him looking at the wall. He looked at me then went back to his book.

The next day I was off an exhausted shift seeing Grissom carrying a big bag as he opened his office. I came in seeing him look over at me.

"Hey." I said

"Hey, still mad?"

"No, I am sorry."

He watched me come closer looking at the bag he had on the desk.

"I got you something." He said, opening the bag.

I smiled walking over looking inside seeing a big burrito and a pint of my favorite ice cream. I looked at him leaning over kissing his lips.

At my ninth month I was uncomfortable and tired. My due date came and went. I complained constantly making Grissom feel as frustrated as I was.

Catherine came out of the building seeing me coming out of a taxi waddling over.

"You look like you are going to burst." She said, helping me up onto the sidewalk.

"I will be if the baby doesn't come soon."

"Did you and Gil choose a name yet?"

"He wanted Louis and I said no. Then he choose Graham."

"Graham?"

"Yes, after a college friend, but I said not for a first name. We still can't decide."

Catherine laughed walking with me to the building.

"Well choosing a name is not easy."

"Is he in?"

"I haven't seen him for a while."

She opened the door for me and I went in. His office was open so I went in seeing him sitting at his desk writing on a paper.

"Honey, the doctor told you to stay off your feet." He said, not looking up.

"I have been sitting for a week." I said, making my way to a chair. I sighed rubbing my large tummy. Grissom looked at me seeing the dark circles around my eyes. "I hate this."

"I know." He said

He concentrated on writing as I climbed out a chair standing walking around. He had just signed the letter when I yelped hunched over holding my stomach.

"Sara?"

"Pain!" I said, winching as the pain kept coming.

He was instantly up coming over to me.

"Where?" He asked touching my back.

"The baby is coming!" I said

He got his phone out calling for an ambulance. He laid me on the floor with a pillow under my head. I winched as another contraction started. People stood outside the closed door talking. Grissom held my hand smoothing my hair.

"I want to push!" I said

"Hold on." He said

"Owe!" I cried

The door opened as some EMT's came with a gurney.

"How many contractions has she had?" One asked

"Every few minutes." Grissom said

They helped me onto the gurney running to the ambulance. Grissom came in sitting down holding my hand.

The man upfront began to drive as the man in the back with us examined me.

"Okay, she is fully dilated." He said

"What?" Grissom said

"She is ready to give birth. I can handle this." He said

I looked at Grissom scared as he looked at the man getting his things ready.

"I have to push!" I yelled

"Okay." The guy said

He listened to me scream as I pushed with all my might. Grissom grew pale watching me struggle.

"I see the head." The man said

"Head!" I said

I felt another urge to push again. The man caught the baby in his arms wrapping him in a towel. I looked at the baby hearing him cry. The man looked at us.

"It's a boy!"

Grissom looked at me leaning over kissing me then looking at our son. The man let me take the baby.

"Hello baby." I said, looking at him as he yawned. "He looks just like you."

Grissom smiled touching a small hand.

"What will we name him?" I asked

Grissom thought about it looking at the sleeping baby.

"William." He said

I looked at Grissom nodding. The staff from day shift and night shift came to look at Will. Grissom the proud father would hold him for hours marveling at his new son. I watched him walk around with him in the hospital room telling stories.

We made it home carrying Will in a car seat. Grissom watched me set Will on the coffee table and sit slowly down on the couch. I looked at the baby sleeping as Grissom sat down beside me sighing.

"Well there he is." I said

"Yes."

"Scared?"

"Yes."

"What do we do?"

"I don't know." Grissom said, looking at his child. "Hold him, feed him, change is diaper."

"I will leave that to you."

"How about we take turns?"

"Deal." I said, yawning.

"I can watch him while you take a nap." He said

"You've done enough of that. It's time to let him meet mommy." I said

Will moved his head opening his eyes looking at us. His face took on a grimace and we knew crying was not far off.

"Time for lunch." I said, undoing his belt and lifting him up. Grissom helped me undo my shirt and soon the baby was drinking from my breast. " He has a big head."

Grissom nodded watching.

"That is a good sign he will be intellectual."

I burped him then held him playing with his hands. He slept a lot then went into crying rants. Catherine came over showing me the secrets to babies. As the weeks went on I became better at caring for Will.

It was a hard decision, but I decided to go back to work. Will was taken care of by a woman next door that Grissom and I befriended.

Work was not hard to get back into. I walked with anther CSI to the awaiting Tahoe as my cell went off. I grabbed it giving my case to my partner.

"How's the baby?" I asked, walking to the passenger door.

"Sleeping." He said

"What about you?"

"I will be. I just wanted to tell you I love you and becarful."

I smiled as we drove onto the road.

"I love you to."

Hanging up I smiled at my partner then I looked at the road. Grissom got up hearing a pounding on the front door. He got up walking out opening it seeing Brass looking white.

"Jim, what are you doing here?"

"Gil, you have to come with me."

"What's happened?" Grissom asked, afraid.

"It's Sara."

Grissom gave the neighbor Will then he went with Brass.

"There was an accident." Brass said

Closing his eyes Grissom tried to not think about what he might find. The stopped by the crowd of police cars on the outskirts of town. Grissom got out running past the squad cars seeing a big truck in the ditch and a Tahoe upside down in the middle of the road.

"Where is she?" He asked, looking at Jim.

"This way." Brass said, leading him past the crashed vehicle to the mortuary vehicle. Grissom felt sick as he saw two body bags being loaded on. "Let him see."

The man unzipped the one bag lifting the flap up. Grissom stepped over slowly seeing the body. He almost fell over if not for his friend.

"Take it away." Brass said, as he helped Grissom kneel on the ground. "Just take it easy."

Grissom held his head with his hand. He let the Captain take him back to the car. Grissom stopped halfway there thinking.

"What?" Brass asked

"The ring." Grissom said, running back to the van carrying the bodies. The man closing the doors flew back as Grissom yanked him away then he got in unzipping the bag lifting up the hand of the woman's. Brass watched him look at the ring then come out looking relieved.

"It's not her." He said " That is not her ring."

Brass looked at him wide eyed then he walked back shouting at his officers. Grissom sighed coming out of the van looking worried.

I moved slowly waking feeling my hands were tied behind my back. I was lying on a floor of some building. A gag was tied around my mouth tightly and my body was covered in bruises. As I laid still vaguely remembering the accident. A person broke the window grabbing me pulling me out.

A door opened and I moved my head seeing a man standing in the doorway with light behind him. My heartbeat raced as he just stood there. He shut the door leaving me in darkness again. I watched the door for some time trying to think of a way out.

Grissom dialed my phone walking down the hall of the CSI building. He blood pressure rose as he went to his office.

"Honey, pick up." He said, to himself.

I tried to undo my hands feeling them being rubbed raw. My head throbbed as I winched feeling the ties unraveling. The door opened again and I froze looking over seeing the same man earlier. He stood there staring at me. This time however he carried a gun in his hand. I recognized it as mine.

"I know who you are." He said "I also know how much your worth. As soon as I get what I need then I am going to kill you."

I stared at him wide-eyed as he calmly said that. He shut the door again and I went to work faster.

Will cried in Grissom's arms as he walked around in his office later. He had gotten the baby bringing to the building fearing that whomever took me would try to snatch the baby. Will knew that something was wrong. Grissom rubbed his back trying to calm him. Catherine came in looking at them.

"He misses Sara." Grissom said

"Here I'll take him." She said, reaching out taking the baby.

Grissom watched as Will stopped instantly in Catherine's arms.

"Thank you." He said

"He's hungry, that is why he is crying."

Grissom handed her a bottle with milk. Catherin cradled the baby taking the bottle. Will latched onto the nipple drinking looking at her.

"So how are you doing?" She asked

"I am worried." Grissom said

"She is a survivor."

Grissom nodded looking at the baby.

I got up taking the gag off going to a boarded up window. Peeking through a crack I saw a familiar sight of a gas station down the road from the place I was at. I yanked the wood feeling it give way. Someone was coming so I opened the window quickly jumping out feeling my ribs scream out in pain. I ran hearing the man in the building yelling. Looking back I saw him run out of the small house with the gun running after me. I knew I was not going to make it far, but I ran anyway. He threatened to shoot. The gas station was nearby a man came out seeing me. The man behind shot him in the chest and I knew I couldn't go there. He shouted again seeing that I raced past the gas station to the woods behind it. I held my waist wheezing in pain. I stopped almost falling hearing him enter looking around. I ran not noticing the drop off. The fall as steep and very painful.

The man stopped at the edge looking down not seeing me. He looked around mad then he disappeared. I slowly moved feeling water soak my left side.

"Where are you?" The man above yelled

I slid into the water and waded down the stream holding onto a branch of a tree hiding as I went by. I have no memory of how far I went down the stream. A man walked to the edge of the water a few miles down the stream. He started to throw his line in seeing the fish. As he looked over he saw me limply lying against the limb.

Grissom sat at his desk lost in thought. The baby slept in his car seat by the desk. Brass ran in seeing his friend look over at him.

"We found her."

I laid in an hospital bed sleeping as Grissom came in running over to me. He took my hand smoothing my cheek. I moved opening my eyes seeing him.

"Sara." He said

"Where is the baby?"

"Catherine is watching him." He said, leaning over kissing my head and everywhere else.

"I was so scared." I said "That man was going to kill me."

"We'll catch him."

I nodded relieved Grissom was there. When I was released and went home I had nightmares of the man that took me. There were times that I would sit up and scream or run into the baby's room paranoid that someone took him. Grissom would hold me when I shake in bed.

The man was caught after a month of running. I went into to testify then I went home taking Will in my arms crying. Grissom came home not seeing me.

"Sara?"

He walked through the house seeing me sitting out on the swing that we had out in our back yard. I held Will sleeping in my arms bundled up. Grissom came out sitting down beside me.

"How long have you been sitting here?" He asked

"A few hours." I said

He nodded looking at the baby.

"I..just came home and had a small breakdown."

"You had a rough day."

"I just held the baby thinking about him being taken or worse and it just…." I said, almost crying again.

Grissom reached over touching my hair smoothing it back.

"Nothing will happen to you or Will. I will make sure of that."

I looked at him trying not to breakdown. He searched my eyes. Slowly he moved closer putting his arm around my shoulders kissing my head before looking down at the baby. I put my head against his shoulder closing my eyes feeling protected and loved.

I had off and decided to pack Will up and surprise Grissom. I got take out and Will in his car seat going into the lab. No one saw me as I snuck in. I set Will down on the couch in his office. I set the bag of food on his desk and sat down taking Will out of his seat. He moved around as I sat him against me. Grissom came in seeing us.

"Hello." He said, putting his papers on the desk.

"Hello, we thought we would come and see you."

He took the baby in his arms holding him against his chest as he rubbed his back.

"I brought you food as well."

"Thank you."

"I can hold him while you eat." I said, standing raising my arms.

"No, I want to hold him." Grissom said, walking around his desk sitting down. I smiled as he cradled his son talking to him.

Catherine came in seeing Will.

"You brought the baby." She said, running around the desk to take him. She lifted him up holding him against her. "He looks like Grissom."

I handed Grissom the container of food as Catherine walked around talking to the baby.

"Has he started crawling yet?"

"He's beginning to." I said

"You are adorable, yes you are."

Grissom shook his head as he ate some salad.

"Oh." Catherine said, sniffing "He needs changed mama."

I took him getting his bag leaving.

"So what did you need?" Grissom asked

I went to the locker room putting him on a bench as I changed him. Greg came in seeing me.

"Hey." I said, as I fastened his diaper around his belly.

"Hey." He said, walking over looking at the baby "You brought little Grissom?"

I smiled lifting the baby up as Greg touched his little fingers.

"Yes, I thought it was time to show him what goes on."

"Your so cute." Greg said, smiling.

"Want to hold him?"

Greg looked at me backing up.

"Better not I drop things." He said, before running out.

"He drops things." I said, looking down at Will. "Good to know."

I came back in the office getting a bottle out of the baby bag sitting in one of his chairs in front of his desk feeding him. Grissom ate looking at a paper.

"So how is the shift?" I asked

"Okay." Grissom said

I looked down at Will who looked at me. Nick ran in looking worried.

"Grissom, there has been an accident in the lab."

Grissom stood looking at him.

"Accident?"

"Yes, Hodges broke a beaker and cut his hand up."

Grissom sighed following him out. I sighed looking down at our son.

A few weeks later I threw up in the lab bathroom. I flushed going to the sink washing my face. My stomach was doing summersaults. Grissom came home seeing me sleeping on the couch. He walked over kissing my head then he went into check on Will. I sat up hearing him in the baby's room. He came out seeing I was looking down.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

"You better sit down for this." I said

He walked over sitting down beside me. I took his hand taking a breath.

"You know how I have been run down lately and throwing up?"

"Yes." He said

"Well I went to the doctors and he said that I am pregnant." I said, looking at him.

"Pregnant?"

"Yes, but only a few weeks along."

He sat back staring in space.

"Pregnant." He said

"I know we said one child."

"Pregnant."

"Grissom, I really need you here."

He recovered looking at me.

"I need to know this is okay."

He leaned over kissing my head then my lips.

"It is okay."

"Really, your not just saying that?"

"Sara, Will is a blessing and this new baby will be to. We know what to do."

I nodded feeling my heart become calmer. This time around my cravings were overpowering. As the first months went by we celebrated Will's 1st birthday. Grissom came home seeing me in the kitchen instead of sleeping eating ice cream and oranges. He sat on the bed looking at a magazine on a night off as I tried on clothes looking in the long mirror in the bathroom.

"Tell me the truth, am I bigger this time?" I asked, standing by the bed looking at him.

"I don't think you are." He said

"How can you say that?" I said, going back to the mirror. "Look at me!"

"Sara, you will always be beautiful to me. You are pregnant and will gain weight."

I sighed sitting on the bed next to his feet.

"I just feel so….blah."

He set his magazine down looking at me.

"What can I do?"

"Nothing, but thank you for asking." I said, touching his leg.

I ate a candy bar a month later in the break room at work looking at a paper as Sophia came in.

"Hey Sara." She said, as she went to the coffee pot in the corner.

"Hey."

"So do you know what your having?" She asked, as she poured the coffe into her cup.

"I find out tomorrow." I said, still looking at the paper

"Isn't it past your shift?"

"Yes."

The next day Grissom and I watched the baby move around on the sonogram. The doctor pointed out things then she smiled looking at us.

"Would you like to know what your having?"

I looked at Grissom who nodded squeezing my hand.

"Your having a girl."

I looked at Grissom who looked at the screen.

"Isn't that a….?"

"That is a finger." She said, smiling.

I looked at Grissom as he nodded. We got home and I kissed Grissom. He moved back feeling my hand touch his cheek.

"Gris, are you sure that your okay with us having a girl?"

"Yes, I am okay." He said

I nodded watching him walk past. I helped Will walk into the living room


End file.
